Why Don’t Woodpeckers Get Headaches

Bird Nerds

Us?  Bird nerds?  You must have us confused with real ornithological enthusiasts.  It is true that we have our bird-watching binoculars at the ready and since May, 2022 (when we read our first bird watching book – Mike O’Connor’s hilarious and informative “Why Don’t Woodpeckers Get Headaches”) we have served up pounds & pounds & pounds of sunflower seeds, but other than that we have only accumulated:

  • 5 bird reference books
  • 3 bird posters
  • 3 bird baths
  • 1 bird feeder
  • 1 nesting box

Us?  Bird nerds?  I am not sure we aspire to nerd status, but birdwatching has turned out to be a lot more fun than we could have imagined pre-May 2022.

We comment upon our bird feeder visitors – 
We probably know about 2% of what bird people know about birds, so our amateur observations may understandably provoke criticism:

– Mr. and Mrs. Cardinal:  our resident senior citizens (through the binoculars, they look pretty shabby, poor things, but they are a class act).  Very dignified, they perch for a moment, take a sunflower seed, fly off.  We give them an “A”.

– The Chickadees:  we think of these cuties as the “little sports cars” of our backyard birds.  Compact and swift, they perch for a moment, take a sunflower seed, fly off.  We give them an “A”.

– Our Tufted Titmouse:  this soft looking, dear bird seems to keep himself to himself.  He perches for a moment, takes a sunflower seed, flies off.  We give him an “A”.

– Our Mourning Dove:  we haven’t seen this handsome bird perch on the feeder –  he seems content to dine on seeds that have fallen to the ground.  This bird is quiet, sweet, appears thoughtful, and we have to give him an “A”.

– And finally, THE FINCHES:  house finches, purple finches, American goldfinches.  These birds hog the feeder and spit seeds all over the place.  They are like the non-productive workers that hang around the office water cooler.  They are like the relatives you wish you didn’t have to invite to the wedding reception.  We give these birds a “C-”, and that is a gift.

“Rome Antics”, by David Macaulay – how clever is this book? 

  • the pun-intended title and a homing pigeon tie page one to the final page  
  • the exquisite illustrations of the architecture of Rome, presented pigeon-style (upside down/sideways/twirly-whirly)  

My son and I enthusiastically read this book 3 times in a row to appreciate Macaulay’s efforts.  A+ all over the place.

Big Birds – Speaking of birds, we did get out the measuring tape to see for ourselves the wingspan of some REALLY LARGE birds.  Example:  the Laysan Albatross – 82”.  Whoa.

Current Re-Read – “The Penguin Lessons”, by Tom Michell – so much to learn from this captivating non-fiction book – lots about penguins, lots about Argentina in the 1970’s (hoo boy, talk about inflation).  Well worth the re-read.

We’re not just about birds:

Fandex Kids “Ocean” – this Fandex-Kids card deck is surprisingly good.  An enticing variety of sea life presented with skilled humorous writing.  Our favorite entries:  ocean depth zones (new vocabulary “pelagic”, rhymes with “magic”), the coelacanth, giant kelp, giant squid (measuring tape out again to envision this 40 foot wonder), the graceful decorator crab.  If we were employed as Fandex editors we would replace the cartoony illustrations with photographs.  Other than that, fun resource with a most helpful glossary.

Story Problem:  Farmer Brown upgrades the bunk house – It is time for Farmer Brown to replace all the bedding in the ranch hands’ bunk house.  For each bed, new sheets (at $75 per set), new blankets (at $100 each) and a new quilt (at $100 each) will be purchased.  If there are 8 ranch hands and Farmer Brown wants  2 sets of sheets, 2 blankets, and 2 quilts for each bed, will Farmer Brown spend more or less than $4,000 to replace the bedding? (answer at bottom of post)

’22  in Review – our academic goal for 2022 was to find the location on the globe of everything we studied.  In all, we “visited” 44 countries.  The only large landmass we missed was Greenland, so this is ASSIGNMENT ONE for 2023.

Classical Music is for the Birds – 

The Aviary, from “Carnival of the Animals” by Camille Saint-Saens.  The suite was composed in 1886, but not published until after Saint-Saens’ death (1921).  He thought his reputation as a serious composer would be tarnished by this “too frivolous” work (of course he was wrong).  A jewel of a performance by the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra, conducted by Andre Previn –

The Dove (La Colomba), Ottorino Respighi.  Perfect way to honor our mourning dove.  Respighi based this 1928 composition on the music of 17th century lute virtuoso Jacques de Gallot.  We can hear the dove cooing throughout and we love the magical flute and harp ending –

Bird Feeder Banquet Music –   How about “Tafelmusik” (literally “table music”, composed  specifically to provide light background music while people AND MAYBE BIRDS were banqueting)?  We chose an absolutely delightful piece by Georg Philipp Telemann (his Quartet in G major, movement 4, composed in 1733)(and BTW, Telemann wrote lots of tafelmusik).  We can hear the birds darting to and from the bird feeder throughout the movement –

Welcome to the best part of my day,
Jane BH
(Story problem answer:  Farmer Brown will spend more than $4,000.  He will, in fact, spend $4,400 plus tax)

…and the categories are –

-FAST FOOD FESTIVAL-
-WINGING IT-
-POWER PLAYS-
-BRAVEST OF THE BRAVE-
-BIODIVERSITY UNIVERSITY-
-THE NEW DEAL GOES NORTH-

I know it looks like my son and I are gearing up to secure spots on a TV game show;  our current stack of books is crammed with so many unrelated topics and we are jammed with facts, ready for trivia question number one – 

FAST FOOD FESTIVAL – We are ready for questions about the history of mega-popular American foods (pizza, hot dogs, french fries and the like) after reading “There’s No Ham in Hamburgers”, by Kim Bachman.  Now we know:

  • a surprising number of the foods Americans consume like mad were brought to public exposure at the 1904 Louisiana Purchase Exposition AKA the 1904 St. Louis World’s Fair:  hamburgers, yellow mustard, cotton candy, puffed rice cereal, and Dr. Pepper.
  • Mr. Potato Head was the first toy to have a TV commercial (this kooky bit of info found in the potato chapter).
  • WWI American soldiers were the first to enjoy peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (high in protein and no refrigeration needed).  The US Army bought the ENTIRE first batch of Welch’s grape jelly for the cause.  And speaking of peanut butter, I am sure EVERYONE wants to know that Skippy filed for a patent for hydrogenated peanut butter the very same WEEK that my son’s grandfather was born (April 1921) AND in the very same city in which he was born (Alameda, California).  Whoo hoo!  Chills!  Making history personal!

WINGING IT – We are ready for questions about North American birds after reading Mike O’Connor’s second book, “Why Do Bluebirds Hate Me?”.  Same format (question and sidesplitting/informative answer) as his first book, “Why Don’t Woodpeckers Get Headaches”.  Per suggestion from first book, we teamed our nightly reading with the Kaufman Focus Guide, “Birds of North America”.  Thanks to a repetition of themes, we now know:

  • birds want sunflower seeds, not “special birdseed mix” 
  • seeds need to be fresh
  • birds need a birdbath:  we now have a birdbath!!!! Tiny, but AWESOME, handcrafted of river stone by an artisan in New Hampshire (danceswithstone.com)
  • there is a correlation between backyard bird sightings and bird migration
  • we can be a kinder people, thanks to a superb essay on bird feeder hospitality

Final note – O’Connor’s way with words made me laugh so hard, that with most of the Q&A’s, I had to stop reading aloud until I could gain composure. What is better than that?

POWER PLAY – “Solar Story – How One Community Lives Alongside the World’s Biggest Solar Plant”, Allan Drummond.  Easy to read, endearing illustrations, enlightening.  We are ready for questions about solar plants and sustainability AND we get to mark another country on our global map:  Morocco.  We now know that the world’s largest concentrated solar power plant is located in Ouarzazate, Morocco (in the blindingly sunshiny Sahara Desert).  We augmented our reading with the Wikipedia article on this Ouarzazate Solar Power Station, and we saw it with our own eyes via a Google Earth view. 

BRAVEST OF THE BRAVE – “Resist!”, subtitled “Peaceful Acts that Changed our World”, an A+ resource by Diane Stanley (all of her books are A+).  We are ready for questions about the gutsiest people who have acted boldly, guided by an inner sense of what is right.   Some we have already studied (like Harriet Tubman and Mohandas Gandhi), some we have never heard of (like Irena Sendler and Ai Weiwei).  Each 2-page mini bio has grabbed ahold of our hearts (and I am pretty much weeping at the end of each profile). 

BIODIVERSITY UNIVERSITY – We are ready to answer questions about the most biodiverse place on Earth because we have just finished “Amazon River”, a well-edited introduction to the world’s largest river basin, by Sangma Francis, brilliant artwork by Romolo D’Hipolito.  We now know a bit about the geography, indigenous people, current dangers, and the ridiculously enormous variety of plant (like 16,000 species of trees) and animal wildlife (like 2.5 million species of insects).  Our final take-away:  we would like to see “in person” a pink river dolphin, and we would not like to see “in person” a green anaconda (but we sort of would – from at least a 17 foot distance).

THE NEW DEAL GOES NORTH –  We are ready for questions about an aspect of FDR’s New Deal program:  during the Great Depression of the 1930’s, the Matanuska Colony was established to give displaced Midwestern farmers a new start in the Alaska territory.  This is the basis of Carole Estby Dagg’s well researched and continually interesting YA historical novel, “Sweet Home Alaska” – a family from Wisconsin becomes part of this new community.  Good reading every single night.

Story Problem at the Local Diner –  What doesn’t Chef James do well?  He has recently revealed that he is a nationally ranked chess player, so diner management has asked him to preside over a week long (Monday-Friday) chess camp for middle schoolers in August.  The camp will be held mornings in the diner and will include a hearty breakfast to activate brain cells.  20 students have signed up.  The participants are to be charged $75 for the week.  Chef James will received $50 for each morning of chess instruction.  The daily breakfast for each camper is priced at $8.00.  

– How much profit will the diner realize at the end of the week?

a)  $250     b)  $450     c)  $1,050     d)  $1,500

– If the diner pays $250 for a large outdoor banner to advertise the chess camp, will they still make a profit? (answers at bottom of post)

Something new:  keyboarding skills!  I was so inspired by this year’s (2022) graduation speech by Rollins College valedictorian, Elizabeth Bonkers (easy to find her delivery on YouTube).  She, like my son, has autism and is non-verbal.  Her speech was achieved through a text-to-speech program and was the worthiest of graduation addresses.  What a wake-up call!  Could my son learn keyboarding skills? We had tried this years ago with no success, but I decided to try again and now, THE ANSWER IS YES!  He is focused and interested!  We begin with keyboarding practice (finding vowels, the letters of his name, the space bar) and then for the best part: my son gets to text his brother and sister (one in NY, one in Seattle) and they both text right back.  Talk about effective positive reinforcement.

Classical Music Time –  Our brains are crammed and jammed with facts and this is not the time for challenging music selections.  Here are the top three super-soothers that my son selects over and over for night time listening –

– Song to the Moon, from Antonín Dvořák’s opera, Rusalka (1901). This is sort of  the Czech version of the little mermaid story; this particular piece has a water nymph asking the moon to tell the prince of her love. This recording showcasing violin virtuoso, Joshua Bell, is the one we have listened to about 300 times – 

 – Oven Fresh Day, from Grant Kirkhope’s BAFTA (which we learned was the British Academy of Film and Television Arts) nominee score for the Xbox 360 game, “Viva Piñata”, composed in 2006.   A lovely, wistful melody, recorded by the Prague Philharmonic – 

– The Barcarolle, from Act 3 of Jacques Offenbach’s final opera, “The Tales of Hoffman” (1880).   Although referred to as “The Barcarolle”, the real title of the work is “Belle Nuit, ô Nuit d’Amour” (“Beautiful Night, Oh Night of Love”) (FYI, a barcarolle is the song of a Venetian gondolier) . There is no reason for any other orchestra to record this, as this smooth-as-glass, masterful performance by the Berlin Philharmonic cannot be improved upon – 

Welcome to the best part of my day!
 – Jane BH
(Story problem answers:  b)  $450, and yes)

Hey, Rhododend!

Hey, rhododend! Courage, little friend. Ev’rything’ll end rhododandy. Hurry! It’s lovely up here!

My son and I are experiencing the satisfaction of growing plants from seeds, and I have been humming the GO TO gardener cheerleading tune, “Hurry! It’s Lovely Up Here”, from the 1965 Lane/Lerner Broadway musical, “On A Clear Day You Can See Forever”.  How this came to be – 

First, back in December, my son started a microscopic volunteer job at the most wonderful local nursery.  Mr. Paul, the manager, as well as every single employee we have encountered, has been accommodating, tolerant, and welcoming.  So, when we arrive for the once-a-week “job”, my son literally bursts from the car and yanks on his garden gloves, revved up to walk through the magic land of plants and get to work.  At completion of the day’s task, we purchase a seed packet (so far:  radishes, sunflowers, thyme, cucumbers, peppers, turnips) for planting that very afternoon. 

Then, we learned so much from Riz Reyes’ “Grow”, a superbly organized book offering a four-page spread for each of 15 different types of plants (plants that my son can understand, like mushrooms, bamboo, maple trees, daffodils), enhanced by the vibrant illustrations of Sara Boccaccini Meadows.  This A+ book has inspired us to plant tomatoes, pumpkins, and carrots from seeds.  (And speaking of “A+”, this book was written by a former high school student of my best college room-mate, (top flight language arts teacher) Miss Jeanette – who has made it into a few of my story problems).  We are already on our second read through. We just love every page of this book AND his Instagram page:  rhrhorticulture. Finally, a few months ago I paid a visit to the very best kind of new relative (a half-sister!), whose backyard produces such an abundance of fruits/citrus/vegetables that I knew, right then, that I wanted my son to be able to witness the slow motion miracle of all sorts of plant growing cycles.

Change of topic, but still in the backyard –  “Why Don’t Woodpeckers Get Headaches”, by Mike O’Connor, of the “Bird Watchers General Store” in Orleans, Massachusetts.  First of all, this is the work of a skilled and knowledgeable writer and almost more importantly, THIS BOOK IS NON-STOP HILARIOUS.  It is comprised of letters of inquiry to Mr. O’Connor, whose responses make me shriek with laughter, and are filled with information we had never considered (how can we be responsible citizens if we don’t have a birdbath in our back yard?????)(we are SO getting a birdbath).  Learning while we are laughing is THE BEST. More outdoor stuff – We have just finished “The Northern Lights – Celestial Performances of the Aurora Borealis”, dazzler photos by Daryl Pederson and Calvin Hall and relevant accompanying essay by Ned Rozell – prompting us to discuss the commitment a photographer would need to spend endless nights in the freezing cold environs of the North Pole, just waiting and waiting and waiting to capture aurora phenomena.  (Of course, we learned what causes the aurora:  solar winds jousting with the earth’s electromagnetic field.  Sort of FREAKY STUFF.)  We augmented our study (Wikipedia) by learning that  “aurora borealis” means  “northern lights”.  Is there a similar phenomena by the South Pole?  Yes, the “aurora australis” (australis meaning “south”, not a reference to Australia).  Damn, we know a lot.

Story problem from the nursery – a project my son is currently working on (at his volunteer job) involves moving pavers (that have been stacked on a falling-apart wood palate) to a brand new palate.  Over the course of the past few weeks he has moved: week 1 – 25 pavers week 2 – 30 pavers week 3 – 30 pavers week 4 – 33 pavers Question:  If the pavers sell for $3 each, and Farmer Brown needs 50% of the pavers on the new palate to create flooring for his new birdbath sanctuary, how much cash will he need to retrieve from his secret safe (not including tax)? a)  $60     b)  $177     c)  $300     d)  $354  (answer at bottom of post)

And more outdoor stuff  – We’ve just finished the Gordon Korman YA book, “Unplugged”, which takes place in the great outdoors (a remote camp in Arkansas) and involves a ban on electronics, a vegetable-forward diet, quirky new friends AND a sinister, illegal alligator enterprise. This is the most advanced mystery/adventure book I have tackled with my son.  He liked it!  As per usual with a Gordon Korman work:  excellent book, excellent message.

Classical Music Time: celebrating the growing season – “Spring”, movement I – from Vivaldi’s “Four Seasons”, composed around 1720.  About 30 seconds into this spirited performance we can hear jillions of insects buzzing like crazy in the meadow.  We love this part!

“Spring Song” – from Mendelssohn’s “Songs without Words”, book 5 (of 8 books), composed around 1844.  My son is familiar with the main theme of this composition because it has been used more than once in cartoons (case in point, Disney’s 1937 “Clock Cleaners” – about 6 minutes into the cartoon) – 

And of course, “Hurry! It’s Lovely Up Here” – Adorably sung in this video clip by Audra McDonald – my fave lines (about the “rhododend”) are stuck right in the middle of the song – 

Welcome to the best part of my day! – Jane BH (Story problem answer:  b)  $177)